I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
