It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
