Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize