either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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