last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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