So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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