...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize