Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize