What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
