o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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