I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
