last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
