New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
