Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
