Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
