Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
