Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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