The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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