I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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