question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
