I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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