Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
