It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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