its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
