There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
