ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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