he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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