Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
