He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
