just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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