I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
