Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
