Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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