Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
