he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
