4 words: hood of his car
I want you more than these girls want KFC
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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