god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
only you would photoshop your dick
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize