I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
