I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
