I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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