idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
