No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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