Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
