i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
