I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
FUCK WHALES
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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