it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
