I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
