Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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