I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
