I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize