I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
