weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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