I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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