fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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