i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I would fuck him just for his dog
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