I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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