worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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