Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My pussy is not your playground.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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