Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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