question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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