I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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