Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
