I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
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I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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